People at present time cannot communicate, even simply, easily, usually communicate, as this was 20-30 years ago. This concerns especially young people. In 21 century, era of many modern technologies, cell phones, internet, computers, young people have difficulties in personal contacts, i.e. in direct contacts face to face.
There are reasons of many conflicts, problematic situations and others. Young man cannot express his thoughts, and sometimes to explain something, to decide dispute, even to apologize for something he finds extremely difficult.
The skill to communicate — this is one of the basic qualities of communication, communicative person. Sometimes young people, they know computer very well, are actively in contact with all things technical, but once it comes to usual, normal contact (communications), many problems and complexes appear. First of all, there is a problem with their selves. Psychologists always pay much attention to the skill of communications. One who knows how to speak, knows how to express his/her thoughts, to answer opponents, knows how to listen to opponents, without interrupting them, how to explain, to solve problem, such person is always useful, as specialist and as professional.
Nowadays without the skill to communicate it is impossible to reach one’s goal, to move forward, to make results. Sometimes you ask yourself: “How earlier people did communicate, kept connected, they did discuss their work, built plans, without modern devices of communication?” The answer is simple. Then people were more open, ready for contact, communicable and went on to have a dialogue, to contact more freely, more easily. They talked, if not on the phone, but during meetings, looking to each other and into the eyes, attentively listening to. Now this is rarity. Young people “sit” in the Internet, internet cafes, Skype, Face-book, twitter, etc. Sometimes we can see that even sitting in a hall (lobby) of some hotel people send massages to each other, sitting practically in front of each other, and no one of them interferes to speak. Habit, so it is more convenient for them.
But to live only with these new modes of communication — this is clearly not a solution. There is no sincerity in feelings, truth in the eyes, honesty. You cannot transmit your feelings and thoughts through devises to express them by words, by views, by signals, by imitating a direct look into each other’s eyes. In this situation you cannot be fully fair or, at least, it will be quite evident that you are closed, in a way. They themselves feel it. It can be visible for everybody.
The skill to communicate “face to face, person to person” is a very important quality, which young generation either loses or does not give proper value to, or thinks about as unnecessary. Young people lose a feeling of sincerity, reality. Many are afraid to tell about it. They can accept their errors, but in no way recognize that they do not know how to communicate or that they are much afraid of social contacts as themselves. Sometimes because no one they have to tell about this (they don’t have a teacher).
We have a lot of examples of such a closed nature, of feeling fear, having no desire to communicate with people. It is not only young persons’ fault, but also of educational system itself, teachers and instructors including, who do not teach young people how to develop simple skills to talk.
We always can hear that one should be harder in his/her solutions, to defend his/her point of view, not to listen to, but to make tough decisions, like on the court, because “the referee is always right”. But in this situation, simple advice, short phrases, apology, sign of attention, and kind look could solve all problems. To young referee sometimes it is difficult to find same one to acknowledge that he has problem in contacts and in behavior, even in simple situations. Such situations happen not only at games, our entire life consists of them.
Young man/woman may know all computer programs perfectly, use all devises of information, know foreign languages, but simple communication remains mystery for her/him, because he/she fears to communicate or sometimes has no ability or desire to, and ultimately finds it shameful for himself/herself.
In these situations, if we speak about the basketball referees, it is necessary to help young person, to show him ways of how to contact correctly, to teach him at the very beginning how to tell simple things, how to easily communicate. We must try to support them during their initial games, not to break them psychologically. It is one of the basic purposes and tasks of all instructors, moderators, commissioners. Thus, indeed they prepare not only referees, but normal, usual, adapted young people, ready for real life, in the first place, and for the basketball, in particular.
Basketball and usual life are tightly connected. If you cannot normally communicate, you constantly will have problems in real life, at your workplace, and then you will have them also in basketball. It is necessary therefore to know how to communicate efficiently, how to speak directly, “eyes to eyes”.
Then you will not have large problems not only in your life, but also in basketball. In this computer or other devices can help you, but they will not protect you or solve all of the life’s problems of communication. Good luck!